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On the way from Miami Art Basel into NYC, I had the scariest flight of my life. The flights from Miami were delayed 2 1/2 hours due to inclimit weather in NYC. When we took off I didn’t even think about the lightning and thunder gauntlet ahead.. I was just happy to be getting back to my red velvet sheets and good nap (I had been a rockstar all weekend with little to no sleep)Most of the flight was pleasant and I even started to drift a bit to sleep.. Then the plane fell 10 feet. 
We all screamed, every last one of us. I don’t care how many times you’ve flown.. the pit of your stomach lurches when you suddenly drop 10 feet.I am typically fine at flying, I fly almost every week haha~ but I have never seen other people preying and crying… it put me in a weird slo mo state where I watched the others around me calmly during the beginning…. who different people were preying for and others trying to maintain their composure for their loved ones. I was traveling alone and felt alone, not lonely, but I did not have to focus on anyone’s elses safety but my own.The body of the plane was being tossed back and forth.. plummeting down shaking everything inside. it was super scary… 
Breathing became a whole lot harder and I noticed myself beginning to panic… for the first time thoughts seeped into my head ‘oh my god. Are we going to make it?’ I started to focus on breathing steady and closed my eyes.. picture something beautiful.. and i did! I found a beautiful peace in the midst of it ~ I saw the sunset on my favorite Costa Rican beach…What I realized then is that my fate was already decided for me at that point, and worrying and freaking out was not going to change it. I’m not much of a pilot who can safely land a plane, and if the plane was to go down, I would pretty much be heading in the same direction~ I settled into a soft lavender feeling of acceptance. Acceptance of whatever is to come. Its a surprisingly serene state of mind. I was not scared of Death, i’ve recently done alot of work on not being terrified of dying anymore. and I was ok with it if I were to go that night.I’ve had such a brilliant life so far.. seen so many gorgeous things in such a short time. My thoughts turned to all the beautiful people and places, smiles and hugs and smiled and even laughed in my seat. I let go of any tension I had in my muscles and let my body follow the motion of the plane fighting the storm.I smiled even bigger.This bumping and jerking reminds me of galloping full speed on horseback!! YESSS that’s my favorite thing EVER! I imagined gripping the reigns and letting my body fall into the rhythm of the giant beast with respect and trust. 
I went to my heaven, a magical sparkling tropical beach, and galloping along the watersedge, toward my favorite waterfall i’ve seen in this short lifetime.I could feel the fresh breeze, took several long deep breaths and knew that I was going to be fine. The rest of the flight remained bumpy but my nerves were calm~ We landed and I had the sweetest feeling of touching my feet to the ground… being thankful for every thought and breath I have.. thankful for the beautiful friends and family and all the memories I’ve had… Wow. Life is Precious.
